Ever since I got the iphone, i never sit in front of a laptop and do work except for work. I recently had to start using my personal laptop for other reasons. This lead to me writing again.
I had been feeling particularly unusual for a few months now when I think about the past. But writing really brought a sense of release to me. Things seem clearer after you put them into words.
One topic I like discussing a lot is growth and progression. Some days, in some areas of life, I feel that I got the hang of growth and progression. Some days, in some areas, I think I am stuck in the same habits I had as an 18 year old. I hope that I will keep a growth mindset always, and that maybe when I am 40 I will have shaken off some of the things I feel stuck in.
An interesting fact I have noticed is that I feel rather put together in my professional life. I wish I could do the same in my personal life. I wish I was always fashionable, always skinny, always eating home cooked meals, always being fully present with my daughter, always being sweet to my husband, always being a wonderful daughter to my parents, always checking things off my to-do list.
Making a prioritized to-do list is easier at work than it is in real life. Over the years, I have bought a variety of notebooks and attempted different apps but none of them really stuck. But nothing is out of reach. All habits can be changed. I am going to re-attempt this. I will hope to post on progress over here.
Another statement I would like to make is that I want to be better at cutting myself some slack. I have a lot going on right now - full time, highly engaging work , toddler mom life, part time school.
I have had a lot on my plate, granted I placed them on my own plate. Sometimes I wonder if I take on so much simply because I feel a void in my life. This thought goes away quite quickly because I am reminded that all this is exactly what I wanted at this point of my life. I feel passionate about the things I took on - Being in an engaged role, being a mom, being a student etc. I should be grateful for these things and ever burdened.
I look forward to finishing school, to watching my baby girl growing up and relishing every moment with her, and to my job becoming less stressful. I think in the interim, I should focus on putting my personal life together a little better, take care of myself a little better, appreciate my people a little better.
